I think that is a bit of an unfair title; but it is what is my truth truth right now
Unfair in that life happens and what could I mean by saying life got in the way? in the way of what? Life got in the way of my “self publishing and flagellating” online life? Feels a little self absorbed.
Who knows. I do know I feel this guilt from not sharing & engaging on every or any little bit of me as i have been on this blog and other online platforms in the past few years.
Maybe I have nothing to say, maybe I do not find myself interesting enough, maybe I doubt my vocabulary and whether or not I would be able to articulate myself, if I had something to say.
I’m thinking a lot; no complete thoughts, because, well; life keeps getting in the way. While I seek silence, worry knocks on the door. While I resolve a problem in my head, a present crisis interrupts. While I channel clarity and purpose, my attention is averted to something else.
This post is just another one of those things that the internet will swallow up, but I will feel better for writing more than four or five sentences; even if they are about nothing really.
My voice and confidence are taking a little hiatus, and I guess so am I. Til my ego gives up trying to be the centre of my universe.
I am well otherwise. Just a little floaty and untethered. As my great ex-love used to point to out in me at times like these – feet not hitting the ground.
I want something. Just don’t know what. I need something. Just don’t know what it is for me to conjure it to life.
Hello. See you soon.