Source- Tumelo –  This is the perfect setting for any kind of celebration. Maybe my next birthday

So I’ve been thinking, analysing, breathing, and essentially having a little existential dance with myself and I thought to let go, share, release and exhale these 6 thoughts. Walk with me.

1. Dreams vs Reality:
I’d like to move to Nairobi for at least a year. For now, I’ll leave it at that. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a few months and the feeling gets stronger and stronger everyday. I don’t know what exactly I’d do there, or what opportunities there are, it just is something I really want and need to do for myself.
I think I see it almost as the first step to my big dream of travelling the entire African continent. Gotta start somewhere. And Kenya is where I want to start.

2. Trying something new:
My personal style is pretty simple – Interesting with a statement – and I kind of play around the same circles with different variations around cuts of clothing that speak my body’s language and make me feel beautiful, elegant and interesting. A close heart-mate of mine calls my style ‘bohemian cache’ – whatever that means. Anyway, the point is, last week Friday night I attended the Channel O Music Video Awards 2011 at the Sandton Convention Centre, and until about an hour before the show, I didn’t have an outfit. Boogy (Trunks and Cast) sourced a look that we played around with and to my absolute surprise – it worked. It was just so incredible and simple, yet interesting and elegant. I wish I’d had my picture taken to show you, so I’ll try and describe it: Black high waisted straight leg pants, gold and leopard skin belt, black corset thingy, patent brown platform heels, and some accessories. I felt and looked beautiful. I’ve never owned a pair of high waisted pants nor a corset before, now I love how I translated Rock Star Glam for the night. So excited to try another variation, maybe with high waisted leather pencil skirt.

3. Contradict  / question myself:
I always say that Life is, at its core, the search and experience of beauty. We are alive because of beauty, and everything we do is for beauty and the search thereof. Yes, I truly believe that.
About two weeks ago I went to Arts on Main Sunday Market, had lunch under the trees in the courtyard garden, bought some pretty things and drink delicious cocktails, mingled with Joburg’s beautiful people in a beautiful setting. This was then followed by some rooftop vibing, sipping and laughing at Main Street Life, all culminating in a warm evening having supper at Dukes in Greenside. That’s all beautiful, right? That’s what life, according to me, is all about, right? Well, something irked me that day. It felt like a little bit too much. It got to be too much. Too much to take in, too much to take in, too much tp experience. It was all great, no doubt, but something about it was all too much and I felt an aversion to it all by the end of the day.
Could I have misled myself with all this beauty experiencing “Life is” philosophising? Could I be wrong about it?

4. Helplessness:
No, I’m not dying. My car, named Bokomo, is. She’s a 1995 model Honda Ballade and she’s awesome, but dying a slow and painful death. Most recently, we crashed into some dude going down the wrong way in a parking lot, before that, the drivers side window stopped working, the radio won’t switch on, her chassis is bent, got a clinking sound going on, she’s wiggly and tired and and and. For the last 8 months or so, I’ve had to fix something or another and it’s not all that cheap. Bokomo is my baby, she loves me, and I love her to bits. Not only because she is paid off, or that she’s my only walk in closet, or that she listens to me when I ramble on, but because she offers me freedom. Freedom to go where I want, experience things, be quiet on my own and leave whenever I want. We don’t appreciate that kind of freedom enough. Sometimes we call it independence, but I’m dependant on Bokomo for that freedom. And she’s about to die. I feel helpless and hopeless, like a penny with a hole in it… *breaks into song*  Oh Lord please buy me a Mer… ANY WORKING VEHICLE. Or send me Xzibit to pimp my ride

Bokomo’s parking lot bash. 

5. Parked idea:

See how I did that? From parking lot drama to parked inspiration? 
Have you read this – Fashionista spoilt for choice – in the Times a little back? Oh, you haven’t. Click and pop there, read and come back. It’ll help get us out of sadness that is Bokomo. 
Yay, you’re back! I’m delighted. Did Milli’s post make you wanna crawl into foetal position thinking about all that money you’ve spent on clothes? Yeah, me too.
Wait a minute, you seem a little nonplussed. You don’t know who Miss Milisuthando Bongela is do you? That’s okay, I won’t judge. Ok – check out her blog, while I collect my thoughts. Please come back. No, really, come back. You know how the internet can lead you down paths you hadn’t intended. (world wide web, hint hint) –

Welcome back. So,after I read the spoilt for choice post by Mili, I got thinking. I really would love to take an afternoon with a small group of friends, walk Newtown, Joburg CBD all the way to Noord street taxi rank and surrounds, taking in the city and shopping! Wouldn’t that be a fantastic? Just got to flesh it out and propose it to some people.


6. A picture / thousand words:
I used to be the one at every party, gathering, walk, talk and more with a digital camera capturing every moment and telling stories through those amateur pictures. But now. I just don’t document my life as much. Is it because I don’t find it interesting? bollocks. Is it maybe because I’m lazy? Possibly. Is it because I’m more immersed in everything to stop and take pictures? Yeah, that’s deep enough, just not Good enough.
I broke my awesome Canon digital camera, and I’m going to replace it very soon. I loved taking pictures and blogging with those pictures. and I want to do it again. Practise for when I sell everything and go backpacking across Africa blogging away. Yes.

These are some of the things traipsing through my mind. Thanks for listening.

Til I write again.